Free time/Insanity

Funny how when I am off from work for any extended period of time I can find time to blog. I wonder what will happen next Tuesday...when reality sets back in. Let's see I will have to go to work, take care of 3 kids, spend time with my husband, AND make time to do this new workout. (you know if I spent that much money on it I HAVE TO USE IT!) Add to that the project I am working on. Can't tell you exactly what it is just yet; the only 3 ppl that know are God, myself, and my husband. Somewhere in the midst of all of it, I still must find time to get on here and write out my thoughts.

What's funny is that this blog WILL NOT take the place of my journal...it's like NO it is a dialogue between myself and God. My writing to Him is another form of prayer. When I write, He listens AND He answers. I cannot forsake that relationship at all, but I love the idea of being able to express myself and someone actually be listening or paying attention. (someone I don't know that is) I don't have to write or type in my deepest darkest secrets...just the things that I want to say out loud, but lack the ppl around me to hear it. So I turn to cyber world...hope it's not a mistake.

INSANITY Update: Still has not arrived...so much for the free upgrade to rush delivery. According to UPS it left Illinois yesterday morning, so hopefully I should have it tomorrow. I didn't think that Christmas counted in my 5-7 day delivery promise, but who knew it would slow things down THIS MUCH! I am so looking forward to beginning. Today my husband is going to take my before pictures for me! (Don't look for those to be posted any time soon =/ ) Now I just need a measuring tape so that I can write down my before and after measurements. I think I am supposed to do my arms, chest, waist, hips, and I am adding thighs to that list. I don't think its supposed to be there though, lol. Because this is supposed to be open and liberating for me, I WILL share my #'s or measurements. I think it will help hold me to a higher level of accountability also. Well, as soon as it comes, I will let you know what happens!

Until then.....

JUST DO IT!

When God tells us to do something we should do it. Simple right? It seems simple enough, but more often than not we don't. I am included as a member of the guilty party. God has been telling me to start a page/group on the social networking site that I use for months. In the beginning, I kept telling myself that I was making it up. God wouldn't tell me to do that...or would he. About 1-2 months ago, He told me again; this time, I took it more seriously, but the fear of what other would do or say stopped me. Would they laugh? Would the join/follow the page? Well today, I finally decided to stop making excuses and do it. (That's my mantra for the next phase of my life...No More Excuses). I will admit, the fear was not completely subsided; it was more like a nervousness. But I have decided that I would rather God be pleased with me than my peers. It's funny, only because I learned that lesson (AGAIN) watching Veggie Tales with my children! Now I'm not saying that it is easy, but what alternative do I have. I am trying to set a good example for my children; trying to teach them that when God tells you something, you should worry or care about what anyone else does or thinks. Hopefully, they'll pick this lesson up along the way. And I can be an example for them along their journey.

I'm back!!

I have not blogged in forever; sometimes I wonder how or when I would even have the time. I was watching Julie and Julia, and it made me want to do this again. Then, I was reading the blog of an old friend, and I decided just to go for it. What's funny is that I am almost sure that no one reads this blog but myself and my husband, but at least it's a start. I should be writing in my journal right now, but for some reason this seems easier (and my hand cramps alot less). I am about to embark on yet another journey...this time it is my quest to lose 20lbs. Initially I was going to give myself until my birthday to do it, but I kinda think that is too much time. After all it is december, and my birthday is in September. We'll just have to take it day by day and see what happens. I have ordered this new "insanity" workout, and I think I may post about it occasionally (and the effects). I don't think I am quite brave enough to share my before and after pictures. It's funny cuz most ppl think that I look great, but as an ex track star, my body leaves alot to be desired in my opinion. Sure my husband loves it...and ppl tell me that's all that should matter. BUT IT'S NOT! What truly matters is if I love it or not, which I don't. Before I spend $80+ on the newest body magic undergarment to make it look like I have dropped 2-3 sizes, I decided to take that same money and invest it into something that will actually help me do it and not just look like I did it. Plus, I thought it would make me sweat, and I can only afford to purchase 1, which doesn't pan out to well if you hate to wash clothes like me!

Well, I think this is it for now. Hopefully, I will utilize this outlet alot more in the future. I have my blog, a blog for the kids, AND blogs for my classes at school. It can all be a bit overwhelming at times. But hopefully I can make something happen. My "Insanity" should be here soon, and as soon as I take the fit test in the first workout I'll be back to let you know what happens.

Until then....

The REAL best day ever!

Okay, that would be 6/26/09; the day that we moved out of my in-laws house and into our own place! Who could imagine that a change in scenery could do this much for a person. I can sleep better, breathe easier. it is almost like my entire life is different because of it. Our unit number means "new beginnings, the number of God, new beginnings". I feel like that is holding so true in our lives. I look at my husband differently, my children differently, even my in-laws. The move has been difficult for them. They are having a hard time dealing with the grandkids not being there all day every day. They will go and visit of course, but right now I just need a little space. Plus, all I ask is that when my children are there, the cats are not around. I don't really care if they need to eat or if it is hot outside; my children come 1st! That is my only request. Let's see how that works out. We have not had much success with that request in the past. Hopefully, this time will be different. I don't really know if i should expect anything to change, though. If I expect change and nothing happens, then my feelings will be hurt. If I don't expect change, then nothing will ever change. It's like a double edged sword. That's what makes being a part of this family SO complicated. For now, I will rest easy in the new place, and we will just have to cross that bridge when we get there!

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Today is an interesting day for me. I have realized to the fullest that only true change can come from God. You can hope and pray that people will change, that people will see the effects that their actions have on other people, but the bottom line is they don't change unless they are ready; most people are not ready.

I started blogging a while ago; i have always been an avid writer, and i thought this would be the most convenient way for me to express my thoughts and feelings. For a long time I wrestled with the fact that someone in my family would read this blog and be offended or hurt. I am no longer held prisoner to those thoughts. i have come to the realization that my feelings are valid, and that anyone reading them should take them for what they are: thoughts, not personal attacks against anyone's character.

Now that pleasantries are out of the way, I can express myself freely. Remember, "If you rub the cat the wrong way, let the cat turn around!"