Maybe today is lonely, maybe the sky is gray. Morning Will bring the sunshine...

Tomorrow really is another day...it's not just that corny song that we learned in 6th grade that went on to be the song at the end of Forest Gump!  

Well for me, tomorrow is day 1 all over again.  Like most people who experience extreme weight loss, I have had a struggle with my old habits trying to resurface.  A candy bar, some ice cream there, and the next thing you know, I put on 5lbs!  Well to most people 5lbs isn't much.  To me, 5lbs is a HUGE red flag that some things need to change.  So tomorrow, I recommit.  Tomorrow, I pull out the pedometer and hit my 10,000 steps during the day.  I'm wearing my walking shoes to school so that I will have no more excuses (pun intended)!  Best of all, I'm tracking.  What's that?  It's the process of writing down EVERYTHING that I put into my mouth.  Everything has to be written so that I am accountable for it.  It's funny how differently I eat when I know someone is watching, even when that person is me, lol!  So, lunch has been packed, snacks included.  And tomorrow is officially the 1st day of the rest of my life.  I know I can do it, now all I have to do is ACTUALLY do it!

Here's the biggest challenge, and by telling you this I'll be letting you in on a little secret.  I know how to eat healthy, and I pack my lunch everyday when I go to school.  The biggest secret to my success is: EATING WHAT I PACKED!!  Yep, that's the key.  You can pack all you want, but if you don't eat it what's the point?!  It's like that apple I carry around in my bag "just in case."  Amazing how I've somehow never needed it.  There always been an "easier" way.  But the truth is, my mother was right.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions!  I guess it's time for me to make good on my word, and put my knowledge into action.  Faith without works is dead!

Until next time.....

Renewing the Committment

Well, this is kinda awkward.  We haven't talked in a year.  To be exact, it's 1 year and 12 days.  I would love to tell you that I have written these amazing unpublished posts that just haven't been edited, but sadly that is not the case.

I can say, however, that I have been extremely busy.  How busy you ask?  Well, working/teaching full-time and 2 different grade levels, earning my Master of Science degree in Education Media Design and Technology, raising 3 beautiful boys, being a devoted wife, daughter, and friend, and moving into our first home just to name a few. I have had amazing intentions for writing more often, but somehow I never got it done.  I can tell you for sure that I, too, fell victim to the "facebook is easier" syndrome.  But somehow, I always come back here.  I read my old posts.  I become inspired again!  

For a very long time, I have compartmentalized my life.  Professional, person, public, etc.  I have never allowed the two (or 3 or 4) to cross over, and I must admit that it is a bit overwhelming.  I had a blog for my class, a blog for grad school, a blog for my kids, a blog for my professional portfolio, and I think I may have had another one for a dog that I don't even have, lol!   

So I've decided that this is it!  I have to put my foot down and tell myself that enough is enough.  I stopped the boys blog because Facebook was so much easier.  My dad and mom and sisters and in-laws all have pages.  So that one, I'm kinda ok with.  This blog, though, was my lifeline.  It was my weight log, my journal, my voice.  And so, I've decided to pick it back up if for no other reason than to give me an additional sense of accountability.  It also helps that I now HATE Facebook, and if I can get a good rhythm going here, I may just delete my account altogether.

So I invite you to join me again, on the journey of my life; the journey of a mother of 3, wife of 1, and full-time teacher.  The journey of a woman on a mission, determined to have EVERYTHING that God has for me; the journey of a woman who is discovering that all of the power that I need to be successful is already on the inside of me.  I'm excited about sharing my life with you again.  I sincerely hope that you are too!

Goals and Dreams!

So it happened!! I met my goal weight, and then I decided it wasn't good enough.  Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy with the progess that I've made, but I had to look at why I set my goal where it was.  It was derived from fear and insecurity.  It was a fear that I could never get smaller than that number, and the insecurity that caused me not to be able to see myself in that way.  I knew that I deserved to lose weight and reclaim my life, but I didn't feel like I deserved to be the size that I really want to be.  If you consider that fact that most people never believe my starting weight when I say it out loud (204lbs, btw), and add to it the fact that most people think I should just be happy with the weight that I've already lost, you can see how listening to other people affected how I thought and how I felt.

Well, I'm pleased to announce that I have been delivered!!  I see me how I want to see me, and not how everyone else thinks I should see myself.  One of the things that really helped me get to this point was when someone said to me "Run your race". (thanks Becky!)  It took something that simple, and we were actually talking about running, not my weight loss. But it was then that I truly realized that my life is my own race, and that only I can run my race. No one can run it for me, no matter how badly they may want or even try to.  This is my body, and I am the one who has to look in the mirror and be satisfied.

Well, with that revelation and some major help from the Holy Spirit, I blew past my original goal, and I have my eyes set on the prize.  I originally said 50lbs in 50 weeks.  I'm sticking to it.  So far, I'm down 44, so that leaves 6 more pounds to go.  And though I may not make it before my birthday (which is in 2 days!!!!) I will definitely make it before the end of my 50 weeks, so that's alright with me.  I met my original "by my birthday" goal in June. I will continue to set small short term goals until I cross the finish line.

Thanks for cheering me on! And if you're not doing anything on January 30, 2011 you can come cheer more on again at the Aramco Houston Half Marathon, where I will be kicking some major half-marathon butt!!  Training is going well. I'm actually training for a race that is fast approaching (in 10 weeks to be exact).  I'm pretty sure that if I can hang through that one, I'll be good to go in January.  I'll just have to think of a way to make it up to my dear sweet Maurice, since I'm running the half-marathon on our 6th wedding anniversary.  What better way to say "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you" than to take care of my body and get healthy?  I'm sure I'll think of something else that can be a close second.


Until next time.........

I'm Back! Are you?

My life has been one crazy adventure after another lately, and it all has served a pretty good excuse not to blog. It was a pretty good one I might add! I am a full-time grad student, a full-time wife, a full-time mother, and a full-time teacher. Did I mention, I'm finally active in church again?? Yeah, so like I was saying, I've been pretty busy. However, what I have found out also, is that being busy is a great excuse not to be accountable to anyone. Somewhere along the way, I've stopped holding myself accountable to anyone else. In many ways that's a good thing, but it many ways it has worked against me also.

You see, keeping up with this blog was my way of being held accountable. Even if nobody really reads it, in my mind it feels like the whole world can/does read it. In that respect, that means that all of those people, whether real or imaginary, are keeping up with what I'm doing and are in turn there when I mess it up. (that was not what I originally wanted to say, lol) The thought that someone could call me on it is motivating for me in a weird way. It's not my sole reason for staying on track; that would just be silly, right?! It is a part of it. And I know that, which is part of the reason why I have been slacking off so much. If I don't talk about it, don't say it out loud to anyone else, than I can't be held responsible.

It's kinda like the Houston Marathon. I wanted to run the half, but when I asked the ppl I work with if they wanted to form a team, suddenly that meant that I HAD to do it. Other ppl were spending their money based on my idea. So now, I'm registered for the Aramco Houston Half Marathon!!! I am excited and secretly terrified all at the same time. I have not formally started training, as it is still too early. I will begin soon. There is also a half-marathon in San Antonio in November that I would LOVE to be a part of. I just have to be brave. (again, that was not what I originally wanted to say, lol)

So for now, I'm here. I'm committed. I'm dedicated. I'm back. Are you? I'm asking nicely....will you be my accountability partner??!!

Hey now, Hey now, my boyfriend's back!

It's been ENTIRELY too long since my last update, post, pic, etc. Things have been crazy around here. Everytime I want to blog, ten million other things have to be done. Well, thanks be to God, I am getting some things crossed off my "30 before 30" list. That is keeping me pretty busy! I finally have a good before and after pic to show, although my after pic isn't really finished yet. Did I mention that I have started my Master's Degree program? And I am teaching summer school? So yeah, like I said, it's been pretty crazy.

Where do I begin.....I know. I'll start with a weight loss update. I had a few slow weeks, but I am proud to say that I've hit all of my goals for the month of June already. No seriously, I set pretty conservative goals this time. I am OFFICIALLY out of clothes that fit...I can either go shopping or lose 5-10 more pounds. I have elected to lose 5-10 more pounds. I did, however, buy a couple of new sundresses to hold me over. THat's the one thing that you have to love about Texas weather; I may be hotter than (insert funny word here), but at least I can just throw on a pretty dress and hit the door. No point in wearing make-up. It just melts off my face anyway, lol! So here is the moment I think you have been waiting for. My total weight loss up to this point is exactly 29 pounds!! I am soooo excited I can hardly contain myself. Between that and all of the many things that God is establishing in my life (too soon to share, but just wait and see) I feel like I could do anything right now. Seriously, nothing is too hard for me or My God!!

School is wonderful. I am definitely still "Nerd Extraordinaire". I feel this compelling desire to do great on everything now so that if I run into any trouble later I have somewhat of a cushion in my GPA from all of the hard work that I did in the beginning. My professor loves me. She told me that she was "looking forward to having me again" in my 3rd class. She also told me "you will be very successful in this program because of your diligence". That literally made my day last week! =)

The boys are growing like weeds. I can't wait for them to get to visit my side of the family later on this summer. That is going to be the best present EVER! I have not seen my sisters in well over a year; they have never seen my youngest son in person. And to top it all off, my grandmother is even coming! This is big for me. I went my whole life, well the first 26 years, believing that she didn't like me and that she only loved me because she had to. Now that I have been delivered from that lie, I am super excited about the relationship we are now able to have, and I can't wait to see her and for her to see her great grandkids! Speaking of which, I have to go get them breakfast. We have a lot of moving around to do today. It's like they can smell me in the next room or something, lol. Now they're all crying for me. Gotta run.

Until next time.......

Update #2746378467348

I couldn't think of a catchy tune this week, but I feel like I have sooo much to share. For starters, I recently moved. With my ENTIRE kitchen boxed up, eating healthy was one of the toughest challenges I would face last week. I made it, though. Only because I was determined to do so much exercise that it would counteract all of the junk that I was eating. It worked....well kinda. I only gained 1 pound last week!! Who is excited by 1 pound of weight gain you ask? Me of course. Consider the following menu from my week o/gluttony: Saturday= CiCi's pizza, Sunday= Domino's Pizza, Monday= Domino's pizza, Tuesday= Subway AND McDonald's, and Wednesday= I honestly don't remember but I can guarantee it was something bad.

Through it all, running through the apartment complex, lifting weights (or boxes as they are commonly known), and consistently hitting 8000 plus steps a day seemed to really pay off. I am EXTREMELY proud to say to you that I am OFFICIALLY back in my old size 10 pants! I feel great, I look great, and I'm happy with what I see when I look in the mirror! What more can I say?! BTW, for those of you keeping track, I have re-lost that 1 lb from last week, so I am still at 24.6lbs of total weight loss. My goal this week, is to finally surpass the 25 pound mark. I know that I can do it! I know that you can too!!

Until next time.......

It's been a long time, I shouldn't left you...

Without a dope beat to step to..step to, step to , step to, step...baby girl! LOL. Okay so for those of you who didn't know me that long ago or simply have forgotten, there was a time in my life where I thought I was Aaliyah (Nesha can testify to that one, lol). I heard that song yesterday somewhere, and it kinda fit since it's been so long since my last entry.

I didn't write anything last week because I was so frustrated. I was almost ready to quit. It wasn't that I didn't lose any weight; it was simply that I missed my goal by 0.2lbs. I know right...who gets upset over 2 tenths of a pound?! Apparently me! Well, either way, it really bothered me. I wish that I could tell you that I decided to buckle down and work harder this past week...but I would be lying. As a matter of fact I did the exact opposite. I tried to eat horrible...but my body wouldn't let me.

I truly believe that I am starting to experience the change that I wanted to see. I wanted so badly to change my beliefs about eating, and now here it is manifesting right in front of me. Even when I wanted to eat junk, and lazily go about my day something wouldn't let me. Some of you may think that something was my will power, but I know that it wasn't. It was nothing but the Holy Spirit. The Word tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us, and I am living witness to that this week.

I am happy to report that since my last entry, I have been more successful in my weight loss endeavors. Last week (when I was complaining) I lost 2.4 lbs. This past week I lost an additional 4.6lbs. This brings my total weight loss count to 24.6lbs!! I'm so excited. All of my clothes are too big. In fact, some fortunate person is going to be rocking some new duds soon; I gave away everything that I could not fit!! That was really hard for me, but I am proud of myself for letting go of my "fat clothes". It means I don't have any room to gain any of this back.

On an even more exciting note......I will be starting graduate school in less than 2 weeks!! I'm so excited! All of my materials have arrived. This is it. I can't believe it's finally happening. But I'm glad that I got these good eating habits down before it was time to do this. Otherwise I may have ended up in a really bad place.

I'm now the weight I was after I had my 1st child. Next stop..pre-baby weight. Not too far past that though. That would just make me look kinda "cracky"!!


Until next time.........