TCEA 2012. The experience of a lifetime.  Okay, that may be a bit drastic, but let me explain.  Over a year ago, I started out on my EMDT journey.  Along the way, I learned so many amazing things, met interesting and quirky people, and gained a new skill set, the value of which is still being revealed.  During Month 12, we had to apply to present our year-long action research project at a major conference or apply to have our work published.  I opted for the presentation.  I wish that I could tell you it was for some noble reason.  It wasn't.  The application was just easier, and at that point in my journey I was exhausted.  Fast forward 2 months.  It's July of 2011, and I have been back in Houston about 4 weeks since attending my graduation.  The news comes.  They picked me!  Awestruck doesn't begin to capture how I felt in that moment.  As I began to put together my presentation, I realized the caliber of work that I had done with my Action Research, and I knew that I would be a huge success. 

When I arrived in Austin, Texas, I don't think anything could have prepared me for the sheer size of the conference.  Attendance was close to 10,000, and I had a prime presentation slot: day one, after lunch.  I arrived 2 hours early, just like they told me to.  I checked my presentation at least 20 times, and I calmly and patiently waited for the start of my presentation.  When the time finally came, you won't believe what happened next.  The internet went down!!  Let me be more specific, the internet in MY presentation room was down.  Apparently, the bandwidth was not enough to handle my presentation.  They actually told me that I was using too much technology.  And here I thought it would be okay to embed several videos into a Prezi to use, considering I was at a TECHNOLOGY conference!!  How exactly can you show people how to incorporate digital storytelling into a classroom without showing examples, guiding them through the process, etc.  Needless to say, it was a great moment for a Q & A session.  After they called in for backup (literally) and got me up and running again, the remainder of my presentation went off without a hitch.  As a matter of fact, I received so many compliments when it was over.  Not only were people impressed with the work that I had done and appreciative of the knowledge that I shared with them, many of them wanted to commend me for how I was able to handle myself in that situation.  One of those people was the Director of Educational Technology for my school district.  She talked to me afterwards about my work, my Masters Degree, and even offered me the chance to present district staff development based on my Action Research.  And just when I thought it couldn't get any better than that, I walk downstairs into the exhibit hall, find the Full Sail booth, and there is Dr. Fun (Daniel Siegel) himself in the flesh! 

Not only did I represent myself and my school district well during this week, I was also a shining example of EMDT Alumni at Full Sail.  Being able to answer participant questions on the spot, for 20 minutes in the middle of my presentation was not easy.  If it had not been for the preparation that went into the project, the comments each professor made every month, the umpteenth revisions that Roxanne made me do to my Lit Review, the raking of the AR site with a fine tooth comb by Dr. Bedard, the advice given by Dr. Deason every time I found him on iChat (which, trust me, was quite often); if it had not been for all of my experiences at Full Sail that helped prepare me for my final presentation before the panel, I would have not been prepared for Austin.  When all of your notes are on the internet, and the internet crashes, you find out just how much you know.  And I found out that I really knew my stuff. 

This experience taught me a lot about myself.  It also made me grateful for every step that it took to get there.  If I could give any advice for current and/or future EMDT students and alumni, it would be this: take advantage of every opportunity.  Don't put your AR (Capstone) project on the back burner.  Balance your time, find a way to make it to Roxanne's extra Wimba sessions, do whatever it takes to make sure that your project is done in excellence.  Remember, we are the future of education in this country.  We are the change agents.  And as one of my favorite professors always says, "Go out and make ripples!"  Through my project, I affected not only the students involved.  Sharing my research allowed me to make ripples that are now reaching across the state and even the country.  I'm making ripples in my pond.  Go out and make ripples in yours!

The Polar Express!

So, check it out.  I got back onto the saddle all the way this week.  Already, I  had bought a new pedometer, and started consistently hitting 15,000 step per day, 5 days per week.  I have been running 1x per week, Monday to be exact, for the last month.  I've really been enjoying it.  I'm a regular at my local gym, the friendly staff knows me, and my boys LOVE the playtime in the kids room.  However, for me, I've wanted a little bit more...to take it to the next level so to speak.  I have been toying with the idea of ramping up my workout routine, but I have yet to figure out how to do it.  Where do I get the time?  What about Maurice and the boys?  What about work?  Well, this past week, I decided that it was much too cold to take the boys out just for me to run for 2 miles.  My oldest had strep, the other 2 had no idea, and no desire to slow down, and my hubby had no strength to do it all by himself.  So, like the good wife and mother that I am, I stayed home.   It did help that I'm wearing my real hair and I didn't want to sweat it out, lol!  So guess what I did this week......

I pulled out my $100 plus dollar Shaun T. Insanity DVDs.  And guess what...our love hate relationship is still there.  I hate him when I'm working out, but I love him when I'm looking in the mirror.  It's not for you, though, don't worry.  I did all of this for me.  I knew what needed to be done to get me to place I want to be.  And, after all, since the title of my blog is NO MORE EXCUSES, it's about time that I really had no more excuses.  It's been a while since I can say that I lived that one.  But this week, I definitely did!! I went all out too! I'm talking tracking EVERYTHING I ate this week: the good, the bad, and the ugly. And my hair held up quite nicely might I add!

I don't know how much of a difference it has made in my weight.  To be honest with you, I've made the decision to no longer live and die by the scale.  It causes too much mental anguish.  I don't need that.  I need to know that I'm living and doing what I should be living and doing.  The rest will come.  If I do lose, that's great.  If I don't...well I doubt that is really possible.  But, if I don't then who cares?!?  I have already lost big.  I lost crazy mindsets and rhetoric that was holding me back.  I lost self-hatred, I lost low self-esteem, and I lost emotional eating.    And the weight that came off in that process was just a bonus.  

So my Christmas message, if you will, for this blog entry is this:  Jesus came into this world, was born of a virgin, so that we could live!  I mean really, really live!!  Take advantage of that very thing.  Decide this day, at the moment that you are reading this that because Jesus lived, you can too! Let go of everything that is holding you back.  Love yourself enough to get off the couch and do what is best for you.  Put down your excuses, and live!

Merry Christmas!!

Get Up!

My favorite tune to motivate me...my alarm on my phone to wake me in the morning....Enjoy!

I stopped making excused, and I got it done!!  Yes sir and yes ma'am, that means that I, Ashley, am working out regularly.  How you ask?  Well that's a wonderful question.  I'll be glad to answer it, but first I'd like to share the journey with you.  

The last time we talked, I told you that I wouldn't post again until I had put my money where my mouth was.  I went out that same weekend and bought what I thought was a new pedometer.  Now, any sane person would have tried to use theirs right away.  Not me though; I waited until Monday morning to try and take it out of the box and put it on.  Of course, that's when I realized I had purchased the wrong product.  Then, somehow my schedule was so jam packed that I couldn't exchange it for an entire week.  I know none of the people reading this have ever done that before.  You all have it all together all the time.  So just bear with me and my adventure if you are one of those people.  

Fast forward to the 2nd week of October.  I have my pedometer, and things are looking good.  I set a personal goal to hit at least 10,000 steps per day.  That's what every website and all the research has shown we should aim for to be healthy.  Well, I blew that right out of the water.  I hit 13,500 on my first day wearing it.  The 2nd day, I set a record of 18,450 steps, which I have been trying to match ever since!  Something about wearing the pedometer makes me want to get up and move more, so I have done exactly that.  

I also began to do my Insanity workouts again the same week.  Have I mentioned to you before that I HATE Insanity...nothing against Shaun T.  I promise, the annoying quality of his voice is only a minute part of the reason for my detesting the workout.  I love the actual workout.  I love the way I feel afterwards.  What I hate, I mean what I absolutely detest beyond any feeling I have ever before experienced....that would be the warm-up.    Who warms up like that?  The warm-up drives me the most crazy because it makes me feel like I'm doing a DVD.  Running in place, jumping jacks, the Heisman, lol, and the rest of them are so completely confining.  I am an outdoors person, and that makes me know that I am stuck in my house running in place.  The workouts remind me of something I could have done in the gym or back in the day at my peak.  Those I can handle.  The screaming through the pain is all me!  But that jogging in place is for the birds! I'd rather run around the block and come back and stretch than do that mess.  

And that brings me to my next point, why do people have to infuse yoga into every workout they sell??  I don't like yoga, nor do I truly agree with all of the centering it asks you to do.  Why do I need to do the downward dog to stretch my back?  Is there not another way??  

But all my complaining to the side, I've done well.  I have not been able to do everything that I want to do, but I have done 10 times more than what I had been doing.  I'm proud of myself.  I will continue to move forward.  I think I'll start by setting a new goal.  Last year I was all pumped about the marathon, until I remembered how much I hate running distance, lol!  Seriously though, I have to set some new goals to keep me motivated.  I'm going to think on them over the week and get back to you soon!  

I fulfilled my goal of coming back...honestly, without excuses, and on the road to success.  If you care to join me I'd love to have the company.

Special shout goes out to Frankie J. for letting me know that my blog posts helped to motivate her.  Knowing that I am making some sort of difference in somebody's life is what keeps pushing me to keep posting.  Feel free to drop me a line and let me know if I help, if you have questions that I can answer, or if you just think I'm silly and you can't hold it in any longer! 

Until next time....

Hello...Is It Me You're Looking For?

Well, you may have found me at the Texans game today!! I spent all of my time planning for the birthday surprise of the century!  I had a great time, and I did a GREAT job of moderating how much I allowed myself to indulge in the atmosphere.  You know what I'm talking about....giant nachos, footlong hotdogs, turkey legs bigger than your head!!  Well, I only had 2 things, both of which I split with my wonderful husband.  If that's not called self-control.  I don't know what is!  

On another note, I must admit that this school year has been THE hardest yet.  For the first time in a very long time (ahem, wve days, ahem) I actually wanted to quit.  Employee morale is sooo low....which surprisingly helped me out.  Somehow, knowing that everyone else on my campus is as disgusted and disheartened as I am made me feel better.  It's not onen of those "misery loves company" kind of things.  It's more like a "I'm not crazy; this is not just me" kind of thing.  Which, now, I'm sure you can see why it made a difference.  I understand that change must come...but all change isn't good.  I wish people understood that more.  But, I must confess, this has made me even more dedicated to my students.  It's going to be one of those "close my door and mind my own business" kind of years...I can see that already. The saddest part of it all is this:  a lot of good teachers have NO interest in returning to our campus next year.  How do I know this?!  Well let's just say that when anyone in my profession tells you "I'm keeping my options open," that really translates to, "I'm looking for a job, and if I get an offer I'm outta here!"    What am I doing you ask?  Well, let's just say I'm keeping my options open, lol!

My action item for this post is: developing an exercise routine/schedule.  I know what you're thinking, and yes, I too have trouble finding time to exercise.  With no marathon to train for this year, I haven't had the motivation that I'm used to having.  But, where there is a will, there is a way.  So the next time you hear from me, I'll be updating you on what I am doing to make sure that I find time to exercise.

On a final note,  I want to stress to you that God is able to exceeding, abundantly above all that you can ask or think.  I know that He can do it for you because He does it for me EVERYDAY! 

Until next time....

Maybe today is lonely, maybe the sky is gray. Morning Will bring the sunshine...

Tomorrow really is another day...it's not just that corny song that we learned in 6th grade that went on to be the song at the end of Forest Gump!  

Well for me, tomorrow is day 1 all over again.  Like most people who experience extreme weight loss, I have had a struggle with my old habits trying to resurface.  A candy bar, some ice cream there, and the next thing you know, I put on 5lbs!  Well to most people 5lbs isn't much.  To me, 5lbs is a HUGE red flag that some things need to change.  So tomorrow, I recommit.  Tomorrow, I pull out the pedometer and hit my 10,000 steps during the day.  I'm wearing my walking shoes to school so that I will have no more excuses (pun intended)!  Best of all, I'm tracking.  What's that?  It's the process of writing down EVERYTHING that I put into my mouth.  Everything has to be written so that I am accountable for it.  It's funny how differently I eat when I know someone is watching, even when that person is me, lol!  So, lunch has been packed, snacks included.  And tomorrow is officially the 1st day of the rest of my life.  I know I can do it, now all I have to do is ACTUALLY do it!

Here's the biggest challenge, and by telling you this I'll be letting you in on a little secret.  I know how to eat healthy, and I pack my lunch everyday when I go to school.  The biggest secret to my success is: EATING WHAT I PACKED!!  Yep, that's the key.  You can pack all you want, but if you don't eat it what's the point?!  It's like that apple I carry around in my bag "just in case."  Amazing how I've somehow never needed it.  There always been an "easier" way.  But the truth is, my mother was right.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions!  I guess it's time for me to make good on my word, and put my knowledge into action.  Faith without works is dead!

Until next time.....

Renewing the Committment

Well, this is kinda awkward.  We haven't talked in a year.  To be exact, it's 1 year and 12 days.  I would love to tell you that I have written these amazing unpublished posts that just haven't been edited, but sadly that is not the case.

I can say, however, that I have been extremely busy.  How busy you ask?  Well, working/teaching full-time and 2 different grade levels, earning my Master of Science degree in Education Media Design and Technology, raising 3 beautiful boys, being a devoted wife, daughter, and friend, and moving into our first home just to name a few. I have had amazing intentions for writing more often, but somehow I never got it done.  I can tell you for sure that I, too, fell victim to the "facebook is easier" syndrome.  But somehow, I always come back here.  I read my old posts.  I become inspired again!  

For a very long time, I have compartmentalized my life.  Professional, person, public, etc.  I have never allowed the two (or 3 or 4) to cross over, and I must admit that it is a bit overwhelming.  I had a blog for my class, a blog for grad school, a blog for my kids, a blog for my professional portfolio, and I think I may have had another one for a dog that I don't even have, lol!   

So I've decided that this is it!  I have to put my foot down and tell myself that enough is enough.  I stopped the boys blog because Facebook was so much easier.  My dad and mom and sisters and in-laws all have pages.  So that one, I'm kinda ok with.  This blog, though, was my lifeline.  It was my weight log, my journal, my voice.  And so, I've decided to pick it back up if for no other reason than to give me an additional sense of accountability.  It also helps that I now HATE Facebook, and if I can get a good rhythm going here, I may just delete my account altogether.

So I invite you to join me again, on the journey of my life; the journey of a mother of 3, wife of 1, and full-time teacher.  The journey of a woman on a mission, determined to have EVERYTHING that God has for me; the journey of a woman who is discovering that all of the power that I need to be successful is already on the inside of me.  I'm excited about sharing my life with you again.  I sincerely hope that you are too!

Goals and Dreams!

So it happened!! I met my goal weight, and then I decided it wasn't good enough.  Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy with the progess that I've made, but I had to look at why I set my goal where it was.  It was derived from fear and insecurity.  It was a fear that I could never get smaller than that number, and the insecurity that caused me not to be able to see myself in that way.  I knew that I deserved to lose weight and reclaim my life, but I didn't feel like I deserved to be the size that I really want to be.  If you consider that fact that most people never believe my starting weight when I say it out loud (204lbs, btw), and add to it the fact that most people think I should just be happy with the weight that I've already lost, you can see how listening to other people affected how I thought and how I felt.

Well, I'm pleased to announce that I have been delivered!!  I see me how I want to see me, and not how everyone else thinks I should see myself.  One of the things that really helped me get to this point was when someone said to me "Run your race". (thanks Becky!)  It took something that simple, and we were actually talking about running, not my weight loss. But it was then that I truly realized that my life is my own race, and that only I can run my race. No one can run it for me, no matter how badly they may want or even try to.  This is my body, and I am the one who has to look in the mirror and be satisfied.

Well, with that revelation and some major help from the Holy Spirit, I blew past my original goal, and I have my eyes set on the prize.  I originally said 50lbs in 50 weeks.  I'm sticking to it.  So far, I'm down 44, so that leaves 6 more pounds to go.  And though I may not make it before my birthday (which is in 2 days!!!!) I will definitely make it before the end of my 50 weeks, so that's alright with me.  I met my original "by my birthday" goal in June. I will continue to set small short term goals until I cross the finish line.

Thanks for cheering me on! And if you're not doing anything on January 30, 2011 you can come cheer more on again at the Aramco Houston Half Marathon, where I will be kicking some major half-marathon butt!!  Training is going well. I'm actually training for a race that is fast approaching (in 10 weeks to be exact).  I'm pretty sure that if I can hang through that one, I'll be good to go in January.  I'll just have to think of a way to make it up to my dear sweet Maurice, since I'm running the half-marathon on our 6th wedding anniversary.  What better way to say "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you" than to take care of my body and get healthy?  I'm sure I'll think of something else that can be a close second.


Until next time.........

I'm Back! Are you?

My life has been one crazy adventure after another lately, and it all has served a pretty good excuse not to blog. It was a pretty good one I might add! I am a full-time grad student, a full-time wife, a full-time mother, and a full-time teacher. Did I mention, I'm finally active in church again?? Yeah, so like I was saying, I've been pretty busy. However, what I have found out also, is that being busy is a great excuse not to be accountable to anyone. Somewhere along the way, I've stopped holding myself accountable to anyone else. In many ways that's a good thing, but it many ways it has worked against me also.

You see, keeping up with this blog was my way of being held accountable. Even if nobody really reads it, in my mind it feels like the whole world can/does read it. In that respect, that means that all of those people, whether real or imaginary, are keeping up with what I'm doing and are in turn there when I mess it up. (that was not what I originally wanted to say, lol) The thought that someone could call me on it is motivating for me in a weird way. It's not my sole reason for staying on track; that would just be silly, right?! It is a part of it. And I know that, which is part of the reason why I have been slacking off so much. If I don't talk about it, don't say it out loud to anyone else, than I can't be held responsible.

It's kinda like the Houston Marathon. I wanted to run the half, but when I asked the ppl I work with if they wanted to form a team, suddenly that meant that I HAD to do it. Other ppl were spending their money based on my idea. So now, I'm registered for the Aramco Houston Half Marathon!!! I am excited and secretly terrified all at the same time. I have not formally started training, as it is still too early. I will begin soon. There is also a half-marathon in San Antonio in November that I would LOVE to be a part of. I just have to be brave. (again, that was not what I originally wanted to say, lol)

So for now, I'm here. I'm committed. I'm dedicated. I'm back. Are you? I'm asking nicely....will you be my accountability partner??!!

Hey now, Hey now, my boyfriend's back!

It's been ENTIRELY too long since my last update, post, pic, etc. Things have been crazy around here. Everytime I want to blog, ten million other things have to be done. Well, thanks be to God, I am getting some things crossed off my "30 before 30" list. That is keeping me pretty busy! I finally have a good before and after pic to show, although my after pic isn't really finished yet. Did I mention that I have started my Master's Degree program? And I am teaching summer school? So yeah, like I said, it's been pretty crazy.

Where do I begin.....I know. I'll start with a weight loss update. I had a few slow weeks, but I am proud to say that I've hit all of my goals for the month of June already. No seriously, I set pretty conservative goals this time. I am OFFICIALLY out of clothes that fit...I can either go shopping or lose 5-10 more pounds. I have elected to lose 5-10 more pounds. I did, however, buy a couple of new sundresses to hold me over. THat's the one thing that you have to love about Texas weather; I may be hotter than (insert funny word here), but at least I can just throw on a pretty dress and hit the door. No point in wearing make-up. It just melts off my face anyway, lol! So here is the moment I think you have been waiting for. My total weight loss up to this point is exactly 29 pounds!! I am soooo excited I can hardly contain myself. Between that and all of the many things that God is establishing in my life (too soon to share, but just wait and see) I feel like I could do anything right now. Seriously, nothing is too hard for me or My God!!

School is wonderful. I am definitely still "Nerd Extraordinaire". I feel this compelling desire to do great on everything now so that if I run into any trouble later I have somewhat of a cushion in my GPA from all of the hard work that I did in the beginning. My professor loves me. She told me that she was "looking forward to having me again" in my 3rd class. She also told me "you will be very successful in this program because of your diligence". That literally made my day last week! =)

The boys are growing like weeds. I can't wait for them to get to visit my side of the family later on this summer. That is going to be the best present EVER! I have not seen my sisters in well over a year; they have never seen my youngest son in person. And to top it all off, my grandmother is even coming! This is big for me. I went my whole life, well the first 26 years, believing that she didn't like me and that she only loved me because she had to. Now that I have been delivered from that lie, I am super excited about the relationship we are now able to have, and I can't wait to see her and for her to see her great grandkids! Speaking of which, I have to go get them breakfast. We have a lot of moving around to do today. It's like they can smell me in the next room or something, lol. Now they're all crying for me. Gotta run.

Until next time.......

Update #2746378467348

I couldn't think of a catchy tune this week, but I feel like I have sooo much to share. For starters, I recently moved. With my ENTIRE kitchen boxed up, eating healthy was one of the toughest challenges I would face last week. I made it, though. Only because I was determined to do so much exercise that it would counteract all of the junk that I was eating. It worked....well kinda. I only gained 1 pound last week!! Who is excited by 1 pound of weight gain you ask? Me of course. Consider the following menu from my week o/gluttony: Saturday= CiCi's pizza, Sunday= Domino's Pizza, Monday= Domino's pizza, Tuesday= Subway AND McDonald's, and Wednesday= I honestly don't remember but I can guarantee it was something bad.

Through it all, running through the apartment complex, lifting weights (or boxes as they are commonly known), and consistently hitting 8000 plus steps a day seemed to really pay off. I am EXTREMELY proud to say to you that I am OFFICIALLY back in my old size 10 pants! I feel great, I look great, and I'm happy with what I see when I look in the mirror! What more can I say?! BTW, for those of you keeping track, I have re-lost that 1 lb from last week, so I am still at 24.6lbs of total weight loss. My goal this week, is to finally surpass the 25 pound mark. I know that I can do it! I know that you can too!!

Until next time.......

It's been a long time, I shouldn't left you...

Without a dope beat to step to..step to, step to , step to, step...baby girl! LOL. Okay so for those of you who didn't know me that long ago or simply have forgotten, there was a time in my life where I thought I was Aaliyah (Nesha can testify to that one, lol). I heard that song yesterday somewhere, and it kinda fit since it's been so long since my last entry.

I didn't write anything last week because I was so frustrated. I was almost ready to quit. It wasn't that I didn't lose any weight; it was simply that I missed my goal by 0.2lbs. I know right...who gets upset over 2 tenths of a pound?! Apparently me! Well, either way, it really bothered me. I wish that I could tell you that I decided to buckle down and work harder this past week...but I would be lying. As a matter of fact I did the exact opposite. I tried to eat horrible...but my body wouldn't let me.

I truly believe that I am starting to experience the change that I wanted to see. I wanted so badly to change my beliefs about eating, and now here it is manifesting right in front of me. Even when I wanted to eat junk, and lazily go about my day something wouldn't let me. Some of you may think that something was my will power, but I know that it wasn't. It was nothing but the Holy Spirit. The Word tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us, and I am living witness to that this week.

I am happy to report that since my last entry, I have been more successful in my weight loss endeavors. Last week (when I was complaining) I lost 2.4 lbs. This past week I lost an additional 4.6lbs. This brings my total weight loss count to 24.6lbs!! I'm so excited. All of my clothes are too big. In fact, some fortunate person is going to be rocking some new duds soon; I gave away everything that I could not fit!! That was really hard for me, but I am proud of myself for letting go of my "fat clothes". It means I don't have any room to gain any of this back.

On an even more exciting note......I will be starting graduate school in less than 2 weeks!! I'm so excited! All of my materials have arrived. This is it. I can't believe it's finally happening. But I'm glad that I got these good eating habits down before it was time to do this. Otherwise I may have ended up in a really bad place.

I'm now the weight I was after I had my 1st child. Next stop..pre-baby weight. Not too far past that though. That would just make me look kinda "cracky"!!


Until next time.........

Don't call it a comeback

I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
Listen to the bass go BOOM
Explosion, overpowerin
Over the competition, I'm towerin
Wreckin shop, when I drop these lyrics that'll make you call the cops
Don't you dare stare, you betta move
Don't ever compare
Me to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced
Competition's payin the price

Sorry, I was on a roll! I've been feeling great! I went out Friday for the first time in about a bazillion years! Then to top it all off, I went out AGAIN on Wednesday after work with a few coworkers. I made healthy (well as healthy as possible) choices during both outings. I am very proud of myself! Look at me trying to have a social life!

I really feel like this should be longer, but I don't really have much to say. We all know how rare that is... The best update I can tell you is that I have done 3 full Insanity workouts this week, plus I've been walking, AND I've hit at least 6000 steps (according to my pedometer) every day at work. Yea me! I weigh in this evening, so I'll let you know if it all paid off. I'm sure that I'll have lots more to say after that!

Until next time......

Learning How to Fish

Well, I listened to all of my fans (all 4 of you, lol) and decided not to sing this time. Sorry to disappoint anyone. I can make arrangements for next time! Anywho, this weeks goal was all about healthy eating. Read on for more details.

So I'm trying out this new eating strategy. Instead of focusing on a weight goal, I'm aiming to eat according to the good health guidelines every day. You remember those right?? That little thing the FDA sends out every year...it looks like a pyramid?! That one! So far so good. I can't say that I hit an exact number EVERY day, but I'm getting pretty close. I have been doing this since last Friday, so today makes day 4. I wish I could say that it is becoming easier as the days past, but I find myself always missing something. I will say this: having 2-3 servings of milk, 5 servings of fruits and/or vegetables, 2 servings of lean protein, whole grains, and 6-8 8oz. glasses of water everyday leaves little to no room for junk. Seriously! Even though I want something junky, I don't have time to eat it because I too busy counting fruits and vegetables. I'm too full from chugging water and working protein into every meal. On a bright note, my husband has fallen in-love with grilling again, so I get my lean protein AND he gets to have fun!

Right now, I am at a training for summer school. The group I am with is REALLY nice. As usual, everyone piled up and went out to lunch. But not me! No, frugal Fran packed a lunch. So when everyone else left, I decided to blog. It's not as fulfilling; especially as everyone comes back with food. The room, though, smells HORRIBLE; too many different mixes of smells. That's my consolation. Also, it's that when I get home, I can have almost whatever I want; it's that at the end of my road, when I reach my ultimate goal, I know that I will still be on this journey. I know that this is not a diet, but rather a life style change. I am praying that the longer I stick this out, the deeper the change will go. It will move from being behavioral and environmental; it will move from the surface and begin to change my beliefs.

I know that this can work. All of the principles of God work if you work them. God's word does not work because you are perfect. It works because He is perfect. II am reminded of an old proverb said by someone who was important, but obviously not famous because I can't remember what his/her name was (LOL):

If you want feed a man for a day, you give him a fish. If you want to feed a man for life, you teach him how to fish. This is what I am doing; I am learning how to fish!

Until next time........

Awwwwwww Bounce........awwwwwwww Skate!!

OMG!! I forgot how much fun roller skating could be. I went to a birthday party last Saturday, and it took me back....way back....back into time. I'm talking circa 1994-1996. That's right, 6th grade; back when we went roller skating EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND; back when we thought we were cool because when we hit 8th grade our parents let us stay for the 8pm-12am session! It was so exhilarating! And then I went home......and then I realized that I had completed an Insanity workout that morning. That's when it all cam tumbling down like a pile of bricks. What was tumbling you ask?? Me, onto the couch, onto the bed, onto anything that could hold my weight. My legs were on fire! But it was such a great burn. All I could think about was how now I could have an extra hamburger off the grill at Michael's birthday party on Sunday. That made it worth it. Now here we are; it's Monday, and guess what! My legs, thighs mostly, are still sore. I know one thing though...it better show up on the scale on Thursday!

That brings me to the real point of this blog. My current weight loss total is 17.4 lbs!! That is So exciting! I have set a new goal: to lose between 6-8lbs more by June 1st. I'm secretly hoping for 8-10lbs, but I felt I should set an attainable goal and not get too crazy. What if this high I'm on wears out and my numbers start dropping?! Gotta be careful not to set myself up for failure. Plain and simple, I need to lose a pants size by the end of the month. That will be tricky since I carry most of my weight from the waist down. But anyone can fit a dress...it's pants that show the true measure of progress.

One last thing. At Saturday's party, I saw the parent of one of my old students. It's probably been about 8 months since we have actually seen each other and one of us wasn't sitting down. When she saw me, her face lit up. The first words out her mouth, after Hello and my name (LOL) were "WOW! You're losing so much weight! You look amazing!" That absolutely made my day. I don't understand how I can be down almost 20lbs and the ppl that I see everyday (i.e. those I work with) don't bother to mention it. I have several theories about why (some of which include ingesting MASSIVE amounts of 'hater-ade'), but in the middle of forming my last one I decided that I don't care. I am growing up ppl! No longer does the opinion of unimportant ppl matter to me. What does matter is that the ppl I love and the ppl who love me have noticed a positive change in my life.

BTW, for those of you who love to hear me sing, I'll try my best to come up with a catchy yet clever tune for my next post =D

Until next time.......

I will survive!

At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Just thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights, just thinking how you did me wrong; and I grew strong. And I learned learned how to get along......Oh now go, walk out the door. Just turn around now; cuz you're not welcome anymore!! Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with your lies? Did you think I'd tumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no not I!! I will survive.....I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give. And I'll survive; I will survive! Hey Hey! (dancing around the room)

I didn't forget the words, lol! Anyone who knows me knows that I could sing that song in my sleep; but I didn't want my entire blog to be the song, so I had to stop there. Now by now you are probably wondering what I am singing about this time. Last week it was chocolate, then then there were the odes to my workout, Insanity. Now, I'm singing about my beloved Doritos. That's right ppl. If there were ever a potato chip that I thought I couldn't live without, it would be the crispy, crunchy, cheesy Doritos. Not the knock offs, the generic brand, but the big boys. I am proud to say that I have not had in in such a long time, that I don't really remember the last time that I ate them! I wish that I could tell you it was because I am eating so healthy that I don't have the desire for them at all. Sadly that is not the case. It's as simple as this: I don't liked the baked version. Sorry, I'm not as deep and wonderful as you thought. I simply made the decision to only eat baked chips, and the baked Doritos are gross!! I love the baked Cheetos, crunchy or puffed; but there not the same as my beloved Doritos.

Now all this talk about food has got to be making you look at me, or the computer screen, sideways. I know what you're thinking....or at least I'd like to believe so. You're wondering what this has to do with anything. Well I promise I am getting to my point.

Part of my decision was based on my goal to fit into my magical dress on April 17th. Well, on the 17th I forgot to try the dress on. But here comes the best part.....I tried it on on the 18th and

IT FIT!!!!!

It fit so well that and decided to try on all of the dresses that I had been hiding in the back of my closet and

THEY ALL FIT!!!

It's now official; my new dress size is a 10!! I worked so hard to get to this point, and I am soooo proud of myself. I would be remiss if I did not thank God for giving me the strength to get through and for placing all of the gifts on the inside of me that I would need to get the job done. For example, all that time I thought my stubbornness was a bad thing, but I have now learned to use my powers for good and not evil and look where it got me!! I have to thank my husband, Maurice, for his unconditional and unyielding support. I have to thank my dad; just by reading my blog and commenting on it I am able to feel your support and that to me is priceless. Thanks to my buddy, Karen, for giving me accountability to someone other than myself. Thanks for having me write my goals out plainly, and for making me email them to you so I couldn't change them later, lol.


I feel like I look like a million bucks. As soon as my personal photographer get on it, I will have a picture to post to update everyone.

I'm almost there everyone. 13lbs down, 37lbs to go. Now it's time to get to thinking about a new short term goal. I'm still open to suggestions!

If loving you is wrong.....I don't wanna be right!!

That is the story of my love affair with none other than........chocolate! Something about the smooth creamy taste, the way it melts in my mouth, the way it satisfies me like no other food I know. It is for this reason that I am writing this entry. For all of my fellow chocolate lovers out there, let me introduce you to my new best friend, Skinny Cow! I love Skinny Cow; she and I are a match made in heaven. Packed with fiber, low in fat, and easy on the calories; Skinny Cow and I will be friends for a long time to come. I can see her in pictures from birthday parties and family events and celebrations. She and I are a match made in heaven: chocolate heaven that is.

I don't have any weight loss updates for this post; I don't weigh in until Thursday. I REFUSE to buy a scale to keep at home. I know already that it will only be the source of agony and stress. This post is mostly a chronicle of my eating...the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have been doing a good job of eating healthy; I have even made healthy choices while eating out of the home, which most ppl know can be a nightmare when you are trying to accurately keep track of what you intake. I have also overcome one of my biggest struggles: emotional eating. I know and recognize that I eat mindlessly, yes mindlessly...you know when you just want something to snack on or you put something in your mouth even if you're not hungry; it could be just because you know it will taste good. Or it could be how you have to eat while you watch a movie, or if you're like me it could be that you "taste" everything before you give it to your children. My how all that "tasting" adds up so quickly!

Anyway, back to my point, the mindless eating. Well I do this mostly when I have some sort of emotional upset: be it disappointment, sadness, loneliness, or frustration, I tend to eat when those situations arise. Well this week.....I didn't. It's just that simple. NOT!! No one kicks a habit overnight, but I did learn how to better control it. I have stopped and literally asked myself, "why do you want to eat this?" If I am not satisfied with my answer, or if I don't really have one, I know that I don't need to eat it. Also, I have started keeping better things around for those moments where I don't feel like asking myself any questions, and if I did "myself" probably wouldn't like my answer! These things include reduced fat popcorn (which is surprisingly good), baked chips, peanuts, jello, yogurt...you get the point. No more Doritos and chocolate pudding (Although I did find a great pudding for not nearly as many calories!).

And best of all, I found Skinny Cow. For those of you who don't know Skinny Cow is a brand of delicious frozen treats made from skim milk. There is minimal sweetener (NO ASPARTAME!!) and plenty of variety. She makes ice cream, ice cream sandwiches, and much more. Okay, enough of my plugs and free advertisement. But seriously, if you are a lover of all things chocolate and "ice creamy" you will definitely benefit from a relationship with Skinny Cow. I buy mine at Walmart, but I am sure she is sold at most grocery food chains as well.

One last update...I have OFFICIALLY dropped 2 dress sizes!! It is possible that it is 4, but I am not going to try on the other dress until Saturday. I have a goal date that I am sticking to, and I don't want to do anything to make me feel discouraged! I hope that in some way this window into my world has inspired you, informed you, or at least made you laugh out loud!

Until next time........

Her name is not Susan.....It's Ashley

So I'm not exactly sure if I have said this before, but I LOVE the fact that there is a girl in all of the Insanity Month 2 videos named Ashley. It's so motivating, especially when I feel like quitting and I hear Shaun T. say "Come on Ashley. You can do it!" It's like he's speaking straight to me! I can't help but to push harder and dig deeper.

Today's workout was killer. It was like Pure Cardio on steroids. I'm not kidding. But I made it through, and I am so happy that I did. I now feel like I can conquer the world...the Insanity World that is. I'm getting back on the scale on Thursday, and I am expecting great results. On a random note, I cooked stuffed chicken breasts, Julienne potatoes, and fresh green beans for dinner. It was AWESOME!! Who knew that eating healthy could be so good?!!?

Now it's time to set a goal, a short-term goal. I have a long-term goal; 50lbs in 50 weeks, remember? Now I just have to set short goals to help me get there. I will be thinking about that for the next few days. I guess I should hurry up, though. I would like to set a goal that I can reach by May 1st. Any suggestions??

Until next time........

The Ides of March...well the last couple of weeks anyway

So I have lost a grand total of....8.4 lbs!! That's right. I lost 4 pounds this past week, from Monday to Monday. Not bad, if I don't say so myself. I must admit that I have not been on the Insanity wagon as often as I once was. I think that only losing 2lbs in over 30 days was a bit discouraging. I am planning to get back at it, and hit it hard in the coming days. I figure that the extra activity plus the eating 10x better than I used to ought to make a HUGE difference. So, that's my update for now.

Oh wait, I forgot to mention that I have been going to the track behind my school since the weather has gotten so much better. Trying to relive my old glory days....or at least be able to walk a 20-minute mile. I'll take that =)

Until next time.........

Insanity Month 2

Month 2 is definitely no joke!! The workouts are longer...they go from about 40-45 min in the 1st month to 55-65 min in the 2nd month. The exercises are harder; in one workout, Shaun T actually states in the beginning "this workout is going to kick your butt". He was not lying!! I felt great afterwards, though, surprisingly.

Changing my eating habits has definitely made a huge difference in my energy levels. I have been consuming about 600-1000 calories less than I normally would. It seems like a lot, but I am still eating at least 2000 calories per day. When you think about it that way, it really shows how much I had been eating. For so long I have eaten whatever I wanted; I have been so active it did not matter. But over the past 3 years, all that has changed. My activity has to be purposeful, and most of all scheduled and planned. I have learned that I must have a plan in order for anything to be accomplished in my life.

I have also learned that if you allow the Holy Spirit to breathe life into your situation, it can be changed. I was so down about not being able to lose weight; i felt like a failure. That was before I realized that I needed to change more about what I was doing. Saying "I want to lose weight" is not enough to make it happened. So I started working out, but I did not change my eating habits at all. That didn't really produce the results that I was looking for. In fact, I believe that I may have gained a pound or two because I felt like working out gave me a license to eat whatever I wanted! After losing a disappointing 2 pounds, I fell into a mini-funk. It wasn't a depression, just a funk. Then I remembered an AWESOME Word that was preached at my church by Shelbi Pullen. I went back over my notes, and I knew what I had to do. The word tells us in Ezekiel 37:9 to prophecy to our situation and to speak life into it. More importantly, to speak the the breath, which is the Holy Spirit, to breathe on that situation that you think is dead. (I'll stop here; if you want more, you'll have to order the DVD)

To make a long story a bit shorter, I began to speak the Word of God over my situation; then I planned and prepared for Him to show up. I kept working out, but I started eating better....laying off the junk (You all know what junk food is, and NOT just potato chips!) Then, would you look at God, I stepped on the scale, and in 1 week I lost....... 4 1/2 pounds!!!

I have been re-energized; I have a plan in place. God is moving and breathing on my situation and it is changing. I hope that in some way, my journey and my testimony can help you in yours.

Until next time.................

Guess who Bizz-ack?!

It's me again. I must admit that since my last entry I have faced a massive amount of discouragement that at times seemed insurmountable. However, I have come out on the other side; I am better for it. I promised you numbers, so here goes......

I have lost a grand total of 2lbs!

That's right ppl, I said 2. You would think that I would rejoice in losing 2lbs, but so far that has not been the case. I have never weighed this much before. My father and my husband told me it's because the work out is building up my muscle, and muscle weighs more than fat. (Shouts go out to T-Pain whose encouragement helped me not cry about it one night!)

While that is true, it still feels like I am making an excuse. So today, I took the first step towards changing that. I need to learn how to eat better, how to control my portions, and most importantly how to transition that into a lifestyle change and not just another diet. Funny how I say that like I have EVER been on a diet before. I honestly have never, primarily because I have never had a need for it. It's for that very reason that I eat so poorly; it's never mattered before. I am not going to say what program I may or may not be using; I have already given Shaun T and Insanity enough free publicity. I promise to reveal my secrets at the end, when it works. Notice that I said "when" and not "if". I have purposed it in my mind that it will work. It is my confession of faith, and I have put action behind my words. I am set to do my measurements on Saturday, so I will have a new report then. In the meantime, I will stay encouraged and focused on the plan. I have also set smaller goals to help me reach the bigger goal so that I won't feel so far behind. New short term goal is 10 lbs in 3 weeks. Here goes....

1 more shout out, to a very dear friend of mine who wishes to remain nameless. They have embarked on a lifestyle change that began in January, AND kept going through the discouraging times where the numbers on the scale don't line up with the effort being put forth. They persevered, and lost 25 pounds!! Hats off to you sweetheart. You have been a tremendous inspiration, and I am rooting for you all the way!!