Goals and Dreams!

So it happened!! I met my goal weight, and then I decided it wasn't good enough.  Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy with the progess that I've made, but I had to look at why I set my goal where it was.  It was derived from fear and insecurity.  It was a fear that I could never get smaller than that number, and the insecurity that caused me not to be able to see myself in that way.  I knew that I deserved to lose weight and reclaim my life, but I didn't feel like I deserved to be the size that I really want to be.  If you consider that fact that most people never believe my starting weight when I say it out loud (204lbs, btw), and add to it the fact that most people think I should just be happy with the weight that I've already lost, you can see how listening to other people affected how I thought and how I felt.

Well, I'm pleased to announce that I have been delivered!!  I see me how I want to see me, and not how everyone else thinks I should see myself.  One of the things that really helped me get to this point was when someone said to me "Run your race". (thanks Becky!)  It took something that simple, and we were actually talking about running, not my weight loss. But it was then that I truly realized that my life is my own race, and that only I can run my race. No one can run it for me, no matter how badly they may want or even try to.  This is my body, and I am the one who has to look in the mirror and be satisfied.

Well, with that revelation and some major help from the Holy Spirit, I blew past my original goal, and I have my eyes set on the prize.  I originally said 50lbs in 50 weeks.  I'm sticking to it.  So far, I'm down 44, so that leaves 6 more pounds to go.  And though I may not make it before my birthday (which is in 2 days!!!!) I will definitely make it before the end of my 50 weeks, so that's alright with me.  I met my original "by my birthday" goal in June. I will continue to set small short term goals until I cross the finish line.

Thanks for cheering me on! And if you're not doing anything on January 30, 2011 you can come cheer more on again at the Aramco Houston Half Marathon, where I will be kicking some major half-marathon butt!!  Training is going well. I'm actually training for a race that is fast approaching (in 10 weeks to be exact).  I'm pretty sure that if I can hang through that one, I'll be good to go in January.  I'll just have to think of a way to make it up to my dear sweet Maurice, since I'm running the half-marathon on our 6th wedding anniversary.  What better way to say "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you" than to take care of my body and get healthy?  I'm sure I'll think of something else that can be a close second.


Until next time.........